I had been single my whole life, I was 24 and I was about to move to London for the second time! I WANTED A BOYFRIEND!!! It was actually the missing piece for me. I needed somebody to love because it was a side of me that I had never been able to truly express in that way before and to be honest I hadn’t really wanted to. I read Write it Down and Make it Happen by Henriette Anne Klauser. And like with most self help books there is the beginning bit where you must get over/ address some of your own emotional ‘issues’ and know exactly where you are, where you have come from and where you want to be.
There are many people out there that would say I was wrong for saying that having a boyfriend was the ‘Missing Part’ of me, but I felt that it was. Of course I could do well without a relationship. Of course I could achieve whatever I wanted. BUT we are designed as human’s to pair up and have a significant other. I don’t believe it was wrong, this was simply me taking myself to the next level, after all I had never had a boyfriend and I felt I was ready.
I’m going to be honest, I felt desperate I could easily have broken all the ‘rules’! If it weren’t for me following all the steps in my e-course I think I would honestly be single or worse in a TERRIBLE relationship.
Well first I had to be honest with myself that it was a relationship that I wanted- so many people feel embarrassed that they want a relationship and are almost ashamed that they don’t have one. My friends were in or getting into relationships and here I feared I was going to become the cat lady, I actually don’t like cats!
My life wasn’t a mess but it was out of direction and mis-aligned to my ‘true calling’. I had suffered with depression and anxiety but I was learning to manage this so that it was no longer a problem. I studied acting in Bournemouth and when I finished that course in June 2008 I moved back home to Plymouth to save some money so I could move to London. In January 2009 I packed up my little car and drove myself to London with no job and no home- within a week I had a sales job and a place to live. I spent just under a year living, well actually I was probably existing in London. I went from sales job to sales job. I ran out of money, I ran out of steam and when a temporary admin job came to an end unexpectedly I knew I had to make some changes. I’d run out of DVD’s to sell in order to feed myself, I knew I needed to GO HOME, like you say to your friend when they’re out too late with their ex and way too drunk!! GO HOME!! So as I journeyed back to Plymouth I made the decision that this was where my feelings of depression would end, I would no longer exist and I would make some changes.
When I got home I was reading Paulo Coaelo ‘The Alchemist’ and that really helped me through the transition- even though I didn’t actually enjoy the book that much. I started to become aware of my thoughts and feelings as they happened. I knew I would go back to London and I knew I would be a much better version of myself. I also made the decision that I would meet my husband.
I know all this sounds crazy, like I said I did feel desperate. I’d never had this before, all my friends were getting into relationships and I was becoming resentful. I was ready now to love someone and have them love me. BUT I was not going to be stupid about this, I wasn’t just going to settle with anyone who may or may not like me. I followed each section of my e-course and I found Daniel in just 8 weeks after arriving back in London. I’d been on other dates, and they were not suitable. Even though some of those dates on paper ticked some boxes, the spark just wasn’t there. One guy was a mental health nurse and told me that people with eating disorders were attention seeking. On paper he was perfect, in the flesh he was lovely and gentlemanly but there was something about the way he spoke about things and comments like the above, that I knew we wouldn’t work. I could have kept on pushing it and maybe it would have been something nice but I think when you know you know.
There are so many factors that play into ‘attraction’ like pheromones, each other’s mood, the weather, your likes and dislikes, your values, the words you use to describe things the list is really endless. This is why I don’t believe there can ever be a ‘set of dating rules’ to follow. My course is the great substitute because it helps you to look at you and not what is happening outside of you and out of your control!
When I moved back to London I did NOTHING else but focus on getting into and having the relationship that I wanted (Well except work in a reception job I hated to pay the bills). There are people that will tell you this is wrong, but when you take my course you’ll understand that part of the process was about creating a great social life and about making the most of my single time. I believe this is important because you have to increase your chances to Find That Match.
When I met Daniel I just feel like I knew! Maybe I did, maybe I didn’t. But we are now married with a gorgeous little boy now sooooo…………. Was it love at first sight. No, I think I just saw that this was definitely worth pursuing. I was also the best friend of one of his friends and another one of my best friends knew of him because they went to the same uni. ‘They’ say don’t judge a person by the company they keep, well I do because I think it does say a lot about a person.
There are many things that being in a relationship has taught me and there are even more things that I am still learning and still want to learn, BUT I am happy to say that being in a relationship has been and is very fulfilling.
Once I had met Daniel I completed a course in Neruo Linguistic Programming so that I could help people to grow; I have always even as a child felt a pull towards people in emotional need. I have always felt that I was supposed to do whatever I could to help them move forward in their world in the best way possible. This year I am looking at some short courses in counselling too because I believe this will only add to how I coach people. I, just like you am a permanent work in progress. I will always continue to learn to things, read and take as many courses as I can.
Sign up to my relationship ecourse today and learn how I found myself the one in just 8 weeks!!